Whether we like to hear it or not, we are responsible for a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. We have been given a free will and therefore freedom to make our own choices. We have been gifted the responsible for nurturing the friendships and the relationships we want to create. Often, we can fall in to self pity because people aren't making effort with us, but this is a wrong mentality. We can’t be responsible for how others behave, but we can be responsible for ourselves. We can’t let others behavior determine ours. We can say things like “I am always the first to message, I’m not doing it anymore” or “I didn’t get invited that, they obviously don't like me” and it can all come from an attitude of how you think you deserve to be treated. Yet, are we willing to be the one to extend the invitation? Open our homes? Arrange a coffee catch up? If you want something, you have to initiate the steps towards it and create it.
The saying of Give and Take, However, I like to think of it as give and give. Don’t treat people how they deserve, love them anyway. Extend a hand again and again and again.
You will never loose out by offering and surrendering yourself like this, as it cultivates space for others to come to you in a beautiful way.
Protect boundaries if needed of course, but don't just put your walls up and shut down at the first thought of insecurities or not receiving the validation you expect.
When we take ownership to lead from the front and take responsibility for our behaviour you will find those on the receiving end will end up reciprocating that level of relationship and establishes a heart to heart connection, which is deeper than a surface level give and take approach.